Fear in Children ~ Things That Go Bump in the Night

Posted by on April 30, 2015 in Articles, Featured Articles | 0 comments

Working consciously through Fear with Eden Energy Medicine

*This article is an excerpt from Titanya’s new to-be-released book, “Energy Medicine for Children and Their Parents Too” Copyright 2013, all rights reserved. Permission to duplicate is required in writing.

bump-in-the-nightThe Energy of Halloween is here and while young children may find excitement in the eerie decorations, scary costumes and ghost stories, it may bring up some fearful energy to others. A child’s imagination is greater than adults. Children live in the world of make believe and fantasy all the time. With all of us, our greatest fears come from within our own thoughts, always. Our minds can blow up a small image into something so huge that it consumes us, occupying our mind all the time, until it may turn into something more detrimental to our psyche. For children, a scary story can begin to expand in their minds, play with their feelings and then a small ugly lizard can turn into a huge powerful dragon of their worst nightmares.

Fear can also be thrilling, like riding on a roller coaster ride or even watching a scary cartoon. Fear can be a great teaching tool if we learn from it and not allow it to control our lives. In this article, I am going to explore some of my own thoughts around fear in childhood. I will bring in some thoughts from other child psychologists and educators. I will also give you some Eden Energy Medicine tools to help children calm their fears, while establishing a healthy empowerment.

Everyone gets scared sometimes. Fear makes your heart beat faster, your mouth go dry and your palms sweat. You may get ‘butterflies in your stomach’ when it’s your turn to speak in front of a class or your breathing may stop when a bully picks on you. Knowing these signs of bodily reactions can keep us attentive and ‘on our toes’, as well. Throughout our evolution, fear has been our greatest teacher of survival. Fear is important as it keeps us alert to danger by bringing blood to our limbs to run away. It can even turn on our heightened sense of energetic awareness, so that we are consciously aware of our own protection. Fear keeps us conscious of our safety as we walk down a dark alley at night or when we energetically know that a stranger might not be as friendly as they seem.

What happens within your body, when we get scared? Our old buddy Triple Warmer Energy (*see Chapter 8 of Energy Medicine by Donna Eden) which leads the “Fight, Flight or Freeze” response comes in to rescue us and help us escape from the danger. As my Mother, Donna Eden says, “Triple warmer is about survival habits and it is very smart! Remember, as your body’s militia, it has established strategies which have literally saved your life throughout our evolution.” When we get shocked or scared, the energy of terror triggers that “Fight, Flight or Freeze” response within us.

When you feel the scary monster is under your bed and your heart is pounding faster, there are literally about 30 different hormones that come in to help you react when your body (or Triple Warmer) feels that danger. Your breathing may speed up to supply your lungs with oxygen to run away, your heart races and pumps more blood to your brain and muscles to fight, or your muscles tighten to freeze up. Even the pupils in your eyes get bigger to allow you to see with more clarity. These physical reactions have occurred since the beginning of us, whether our bodies were reacting to a saber tooth tiger or the mean bully down the street. The body is being prepared to fight the enemy, run from the danger (flight) or stay completely still so the enemy might not see you (freeze). The freeze modality can also show up as denial of a situation or emotion.

Fear can sometimes cripple us to the point where we cannot move. This is the freeze modality and I believe it is the worst of the three reactions. We feel paralyzed, we hold our breath and we get stuck. If a child feels embarrassed or ashamed by their response, they can hide their feelings away in denial, but as we all know the feelings stay inside and get stuck. As we all know, when energy gets stuck anywhere in our body, it can develop patterns of hidden psychological blockages or inward disease. When our body is on a long term habit of experiencing fear and anxiety, it can lead to being in a constant state of Triple Warmer reaction or in the “On” position, all the time. This is when we develop phobias and anxieties in life. If we haven’t dealt with our initial emotions, sometimes an experience that is similar to our initial fear/shock can trigger us into a similar fearful state. Then we don’t enjoy the fullness of life as much as we could.

“We’ve forgotten what it’s like not to be able to reach the light switch. We’ve forgotten a lot of the monsters that seemed to live… in our room at night. Nevertheless, those memories are still there, somewhere inside us, and can sometimes be brought to the surface by events, sights, sounds, or smells.“ Fred Rogers –Childhood Educator, Presbyterian Minister, TV Show Host

Sometimes when we’re shocked, our sense of security is frazzled and this energy can overwhelm our whole existence so that every time an experience comes up again throughout our lifetime, it can stimulate similar emotions within us once more. As a child grows up, the patterns can get embedded in their psyche and cause emotional, mental or physical ailments.

Esther Inglis Arkell in her article, The Science of being Scared to Death, says this, “The heart’s muscles are wired to stay on-rhythm via the nervous system. Stress hormones, called catecholamines, respond to nervous impulses. These stress hormones are generally meant to boost muscle fitness, bringing blood and adrenaline into your limbs in order to run away from the danger. Sudden shocks cause stress hormones to pour out, messing with the heart’s rhythm, putting more stress and strain on certain parts of the arteries or muscles.”

Chronic fearful conditions can lead to cardiovascular damage and heart palpitations, gastrointestinal problems such as ulcers and irritable bowel syndrome, panic attacks, depression and fatigue among other things.

Fear takes us off our own rhythm and we have to catch our breath once more to ‘get back’ on track. Experiencing too much fear or nervousness can interfere with our daily lives, especially with children, who are trying to find their own rhythm. If they know that the bully is awaiting them at school every single day, it can trigger a habitual state of internal anxiety and fear.

Sometimes fear allows us to catch our breath and we find ourselves panting quickly or queasy feelings begin to turn over within our stomach. Studies show that fear and shock can make the heart lose its own rhythm. Too many shocks and trauma, can lead the heart into bad habits of Triple Warmer triggers… where the littlest trauma can trigger a similar response. This next exercise will allow you to get back on track.

Titanya’s Calming Breath

Whenever you feel anxious, nervous or fearful, put one hand on your stomach (womb chakra) area and the other on your heart (heart chakra) area and breathe slowly and deeply, a few times in and out… relaxing with every exhalation. Your heart will get quiet and the butterflies will settle down. Thumping your thymus bone (in the middle of your chest) can also calm heart palpitations.

All Chakras can be affected by fear, but the Root and Womb chakras can show up in physical ways. Our Root chakra deals with stability, security and our sense of well-being. It is about the safety of our home and our community. If we don’t feel safe, our Root chakra will tend to react. Have you ever been around a little dog that is so scared or nervous that they pee uncontrollably?

A young child is looking to their guardians for a secure and happy home life. In an unstable environment, they might exhibit traits of wetting the bed or their pants. They might experience bouts of constipation (another example of freezing), if they are hiding their fears. If the Root Chakra energy is constantly on alert, the child may grow up disconnecting from their own sexuality, thereby disconnecting intimately from adult relationships. Many books say that sexuality comes from the Womb chakra, alone. Both my Mother and I find that sexual energy comes from many chakras, but primarily the Root and the Womb, as well as the Heart.

The Womb Chakra too, deals with digestion and feelings of comfort, among other things. So, when a child feels scared or nervous, this can show up in emotions like worry and physical traits such as ‘butterflies in the stomach’ and digestion issues like Irritable Bowel Syndrome. The Womb Chakra is the place of childhood and brings in a sense of playfulness, inner joy, freedom and creativity. If a child is in a constant feeling of fright and not allowed to display natural childhood play, a habit forms and they disconnect within their spirit as they grow into adulthood. The emotions of worry and anxiety begin to rule their adult world.

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt, 32nd president of United States

As we know now through the work of many Neuroscientists, Biologists and Energy Scientists such as Candace Pert, Bruce Lipton and Carolyn Myss, traumas that were hidden away in childhood will stay in our cellular memory, only to arise later, in different but similar situations. Emotional triggers within the traumas can activate the negative cellular memories and one can experience similar stress, sometimes even worse than the initial stress, as different layers have been formed within the psyche.

If, as children, we don’t receive acknowledgement from our guardians or caring adults, we can hold these emotions within us and hide them away, especially if the adults of our childhood did the same thing. We push them away, but they never really go away… only out of sight for a while only to resurface. If patterns of these emotions continue, the body can break down and develop disease.

Dinosaur Breath

(Otherwise known as “Expelling the Venom”)

Although this is used for anger and frustration, a child can use this when a negative image is stuck in their head as well, such as a nightmare or a traumatic experience.

With a deep in breath, swing your arms out to your sides, and complete the circle by bringing them high above your head.

Grab onto some energy above your head or maybe an image that you want to get rid of, with two fists.

With a loud “Shhhhhhhhhh” as you exhale, as if you are a powerful dinosaur or dragon expelling fire breath, as you bring your fisted hands down fast, through the central space in front of you. Let your fists open at the bottom, near your thighs to get rid of and give this entire “icky image” to the Earth (The Earth can always recycle our energy and turn it into positive energy). Do this 3 times.

On the 3rd time, do it slow and deliberately and when you get to the bottom, push out the last remaining “glunk” from your throat, like the last bit of poison from the dinosaurs’ throat, with a “haaaah” sound.

Bring up tiny ‘giggly hearts’ (trace tiny hearts) up your central meridian and when you get to the top, open up your Dinosaur (like a pterodactyl) Wings of light and positive feelings. Tracing hearts anywhere on the body brings in joy wherever needed. It helps Triple Warmer turn into a Radiant Circuit.

Patterns of self-esteem start very early in life; by the time we are 4 years old, our Self Critic is already formed. Once people reach adulthood, it’s harder to make changes because they have already established how they see and define themselves. Childhood is a very good time to instill positive spaces where they can love themselves, despite what happens in their world. So many times traumatic experiences, like the loss of a loved one, a family divorce or an abusive guardian can make a child feel like it is their fault. I believe self-love and forgiveness is the cure for many traumatic experiences. So many times, we begin to judge ourselves when fears arise creating a dark shadow to hide away and never truly heal. When we begin to accept and bring compassion to our places of fear, then we can truly begin to bring them to the light and heal.

“Love is the only response that undoes fear. If you don’t believe this, try it. Love any person or situation that evokes fear in you and the fear will disappear. This is true, not so much because love is an antidote to fear, but because fear is ‘the absence of love’. It therefore cannot exist whenever love is present.” Paul Ferrini-Ordained Minister, Author and Workshop Leader ~Titanya’s Self-Love Smoothie

~ Start at the Bladder points (for Nerves), in between the eyebrows. Continue to trace a heart around your ears (which connects to Triple Warmer meridian) and down to your heart chakra (3 times).

~ Tap on the fear points, in between the 4th and 5th fingers of your hands, one at a time, while your other hand is holding your heart area. Breathe and Rest there.

Bringing in Heart energy makes Triple Warmer feel safe and strengthens spleen energy when you bring love to yourself. I feel that “Loving Ourselves” also can turn off Triple Warmer’s energy, therefore calming fears and anxieties!

Affirmations: “I love myself and accept myself for who I am”, “I am okay, even though I am scared”, “I will take care of myself through this feeling”.

Fear separates us from our true selves and makes us vulnerable. Shame and embarrassment lie at the heart of fear. It starts early in life and cuts children off from communicating to their parents or guardians. Fear invades our cells and forces us to hide and create a lack of communication, hiding a secret that is all your own. The energy of the experience, gets submerged and later may fester in poisonous ways inside your body or psyche.

Sometimes a parent or teacher can even bring shame to a child by dismissing a child’s fear. The child can get embarrassed and think that what they were feeling was wrong, believing that there is something wrong with them. Children want to please their parents and gain approval from them. A parent’s disapproval can make a child judge themselves thereby creating a harmful pattern that continues far into their adult life.

Adults sometimes try to fix the negative experience bringing in positive images, but when we hide the feelings or bring in other substances, we are not getting rid of them, just putting them aside and not addressing the initial fears. The ‘boogey man’ will still be lurking under the bed or in the closet… and the child will know it.

Sometimes a parent wants to save their children, quickly and help children forget the scary experience and substitute it with a positive image. “Let’s go and get an ice cream cone!” This only puts the emotions deep inside them, and they will have to deal with them at a later time. If we begin to work with the child’s reactions right when their fears happen and allow them to recognize their true feelings, we can melt their terrors, so they don’t rear their ugly heads in the future in bigger ways. If you dissipate the anxiety of the trauma and get the child to figure out a better scenario or cure for their monsters, then the images don’t become the bigger dragons but show their “true selves” as the small lizards they are. In this way, the dragons don’t live on within them only to show themselves at a later date, in adult life. Then and only then, I’d say go and get them an ice cream cone!

We all want to protect our children and save them from their evil monsters. We want to create a better life for them, than we had. But if you keep saving them, it doesn’t empower a child for their future life struggles. As the child grows up, they do not learn to stick up for themselves or establish healthy boundaries. Wouldn’t a more empowering situation be, to guide them?

I believe one of the best things we can do for our children early in life is to empower them and create a positive healthy self-esteem. They will become better balanced adults, providing even better positive images in their children. In this way, we create a better world, where we are all empowered in love. Help them to find their own power. Be their cheerleaders, their confidants. Instill in them self- confidence and show them their own strength and self-esteem, so that they will learn to fight their own battles. They will come up against challenges their whole life… whether it is a neighborhood bully or an abusive spouse. They will find that over time, those confrontations get easier and easier as they encounter and tame their own dragons.

Having Eden Energy Medicine in your back pocket can bring an inner empowerment to young children as well as adults. It can bring a sense of comfort, creating a feeling of self-protection that they will be able to have the rest of their lives. With Halloween here, children love to dress up as Superheroes from Spiderman to Power Puff Girls. Dressing up as characters, gives them a sense of pride and inspiration. It is also empowering for children to dress up as a favorite hero, giving them a sense of self confidence. Help them create a new reality for their defeated emotions! Put them back in control of their own fears!

Let your children embody their characters while doing the Eden Energy Medicine exercises above. Allow them to show you how ‘Super Pink Princess Horsey Girl’ Or ‘Dino Boy’ would do the exercises. Do the Celtic Weave Exercise for empowerment and protection.

The Celtic Weave

Rub your hands together to create energy between them. Slowly spread them apart to feel this ball of energy.

Put your hands, parallel up near your ears, about a few inches away.

Breathe in, connect your elbows, and swing your hands out to the sides on the outbreath.

Breathe in and cross your arms and swing them out, while you bend over from the hips, and swing hands out on the out-breath, about hip level.

Breathe in again and cross your hands at your ankles, bending over and swing them out wide as you breathe out.

Hang down, like a rag doll, for a moment, allowing energy to fall off of you.

Next bend your knees and face your palms forward as you come up, while scooping up the energy. As you stand up, you let the energy fall down either side of your body, with your hands. Give your body a little wiggle as you feel it raining down the sides. I like to think sparkly energy coming down.

Repeat this exercise, but imagine the Celtic Weave energy now on the back of your body. We always need to strengthen up our back side for protection.

Our responsibility is to create a world where children are not living in fear, shame or embarrassment. Love and understanding is the greatest thing you can give to a child. Meet the child where they are and empower them with courage and love, so that they are creating a better energy on this planet for years to come.

scared animal -free

*This article is an excerpt from Titanya’s new to-be-released book, “Energy Medicine for Children and Their Parents Too” Copyright 2013, all rights reserved. Permission to duplicate is required in writing.

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